Love

Love takes up where ignorance leaves off.

Dear Lili

Hi my little granddaughter
I hear your mother is coming to visit you. I wish I could also. I miss you so very much.

I have some of your belongings in my living room to remind me at a glance of the little girl that made me so happy and showed me love at a time I needed it.....
you are my angel

I love you

I love you Lili
love always
Nana

Hello hello

Hi there little one,
I went and saw your mom and brother and sister today. I wish you were there. You would be the best big sister ever!! You will fall in love with her.....When I saw her for the first time I saw a little of you in her. I remember how tiny you were when you were born so tiny.
I love you
I wish you were here with me tonight we would watch a movie and eat pop corn or maybe paint a picture.

The day Georgie arrived.

Dear Lili
I did not get to see Bella be born. I saw you come into the world.
I was there for your first breath, and I held you after your mother did.
Your Dad was right there also taking pictures of you....
I want to say they have the actual birth on tape.
Now I am sorry but I could not do that.
Nope not me.....
Nope
Nope no sirreeee.
I held your sister in my arms and I recalled a flash of you at birth. I saw it in her face and in her demeanor.
I know
I know
She is a newborn, what demeanor??
They have one trust me.
I saw yours too....and I was not wrong.
Anyway
I asked your mother if she told you and she said yes that you were excited and wanted to see your sister.
I wish I could be there to bear witness to that moment. The moment you meet your sister.
This is all so wrong.
I miss you Lili, I wish you were here with us. We would never keep you from your family.
I love you my little pookie butt.

The meaning of names

Your name means hero. How very appropriate for you.

Your sister is coming today

Dear Lili
Your little sister will be born today. Your mother went in for them to induce delivery. I am here with your little brother. We are excited.
I won't get to see this little one being born but that is okay.
I was given a gift when I was asked to be a part of yours and your brothers' birth.
Your birth was the first I have ever been a part of. Other than my own of course.
You were the tiniest baby and the sweetest baby I had ever seen, next to your mama of course, and then your brothers.
I wish you were here so we could go to the hospital together and see them.
I miss you lili you are in my heart constantly.
Nana

The little red dress

I remember a little girl who loved to play dress up.
I would go and pick her up from her house and she would climb into the back seat of the Jeep looking for her gear. She made sure to tell me to remember to bring it.
Her gear consisted of a red dress, a purple boa, clickety clackers, and her make-up kit.
Oh yes on some days her pink umbrella.
She would dress like this and we would go out.
People would look at her.
I would smile thinking how delightful my little grand-daughters' imagination is.
She lived in this outfit for quite a few years.
It was a size 12 for little girls....while she was maybe 4 we would tie the dress up in the back so as to fit her properly.
Or as properly as we could. She is quite the character.
I found the dress today Lili, and I put it on a hanger with a scarf and a red purse and hung it in my living room.
I love to look at it and remember how much you loved to wear this dress.
I love you my angel.
Good night.
Nana

Kouchouni girl

good night my little love.

Dear Lili,
It is Saturday and it was a nice day. I made spaghetti today. Your brother loved it he says I cook good. Your Mama had 2 bowls.
I know she is not able to see you right now.
I pray you understand.
You know a lot has been going on around you for quite awhile now. Goodness, it looks like it has been your whole life. I want you to understand that you have done absolutely nothing for any of this to happen.
I hope in writing here everyday you will one day have a sense of what it was like to be without you for so very long. It also makes me feel so much closer to you than I am right now.
I have my collage on the wall and it has a lot of your pictures on it. I love your smile. Your face is as bright as a star.
You are my angel girl.
Good night Lili
I miss you
I love you
Nana

Dear LIli

Dear Lili,
Tomorrow your mother and little brother are coming over. I had to clean to day. You know how their allergies are. I happen to have way too much dust in here.
I sat outside in the sun for awhile and I was remembering when we used to put the pool on Yiayia's back deck. You loved to swim. You were a little fish.
I have a picture of you at a beautiful young age....do you remember the red and white polka dot bikini? You called it Bike-eenee. lol
Well I bought that for you cause years ago I bought the very same style and colors for your mama.
I hope you are well.
I pray God makes a move soon.
I would love to see you in person.
I thought of riding over there today. But I changed my mind.
I love you
I miss you
Nana

Dear Lili
I started to work on the mermaid today. I want to finish her in order to give her to you. I know you know who she is. I had startd working on her back when.
I have had you on my mind a lot lately.
It may be because I am writing you these letters almost everyday, but then no because I alway think of you.
I hope you are well little angel girl.
I love you
I miss you
Nana

Indigo Child by Mark Denny

my Indigo Child
I look in your eyes and am held by your stare.
So much knowledge, so alert and so aware,
I feel that I know you, I’ve met you before.
Where have you come from? I want to know more.
Do you remember a far away place,
With a different name and a different face?
Don’t be upset if I don’t understand
The message you bring with you back to this land.
I know who you are; I know why you are here.
Don’t be frustrated-I’ll always be near.
I am to you, close both in spirit and mind
I understand you and I know of your kind.
You offer me love and you bind us together.
Your touch on my heart is as light as a feather.
Why have you chosen to be my little girl?
What is the message you bring to my world?
Your spirit is gentle, so peaceful and mild.
Your spirit is special, My Indigo Child.
Written by Mark Denny for his daughter Savanna age 2
I have edited this a bit to fit my life with Lili

Hi my love

Dear Lili
I worked in the garden today and you would not believe what I found! I found a teeny tiny turtle. It was so cute. It was a newborn with the face of an old wise man. I put him on the porch to get him out of my way and he found his way to wherever he is now.
I had Magnolia the german shepherd with me she was my company today. I was kind of scared of snakes and mice, but with her there I knew she would get them.
I hope you are sleeping well my little love. I thought I saw you the other day, I was driving on Cedar Lake road going to the interstate and I saw a side view of a little face that could have been yours.
They must have turned off the road because I lost them. I wonder.
I wonder sometimes how you would react if we saw each other.
One day I was in your city and thought to drive by your house. I didn't though because I did not want to cause you any more unecessary pain. That night you called your mother and asked if I drove by your house..
How did you know?
I love you
I miss you
Nana

Dear Pookie

Dear Lili
I hope you had a good Easter. I did this year. It has been awhile since I have had a good holiday.
Your mama and little brother were supposed to come and visit today. But he was not being very nice. He decided to poop on the driveway today....among many other things I am told. So he was being punished....no Nana.
Why is it Nana is punished?
I miss you my beautiful child.
I remember the moment you entered the world. You had a little munchkin look about you. You were so so tiny. So beautiful. You were also the first birth I had ever witnessed. I was in awe of you coming into this world. Your mama was also. I remember it like it was yesterday. I looked at your father and he was so nervous.
You are an angel sent to us to show us to love in the middle of any type of disharmony there may be. Do not forget you are a child of God.
Forgiveness will play a role in your life. Forgive them my babygirl. They are acting from fear not maliciousness. They believe in what they are doing to you. They want to protect you...problem here is that they are protecting you from the people who adore you. They don't want to look in any other direction.
I love you H.....
Nana

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Lili,
I can imagine you in a pretty purple dress today. I would think a pretty hat would be nice also.
I am still working on your catwoman costume...very challenging thing to fit you when I cannot see you!!!

good morning

good morning Lili
I woke up early and decided to write you a little letter again.
I have been working on a seashell mobile and I can't help but remember when little tiny fingers and hands used to help me.
I think you are on spring break right now.
I miss you I love you
nana

April fool!

Dear Lili,
Happy April Fool's day. I hope you get to trick and are not tricked today.
Yesterday your mom went to the hospital again. She has been in labor for 3 weeks, imagine!!
They said go home it may be tonight or tomorrow. So we are all holding our breaths waiting for your little sister to come into this world.
You are a great Big sister to MIkah, Alexis, Seth......
I miss you.
I love you
Nana